Discalimer: I own nothing
Summary: Set in the summer after Kurt’s first year of college. He and Blaine still don’t talk to each other and his life is in a blind alley. Some unexpected circumstances will lead Sebastian to Kurt’s door step, asking for help. Some unexpected circumstances will bring Kurt and Sebastian closer. None of them could have predicted how much their lives would have been shaken upside-down because of the other.
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It’s funny how slowly can days go by when all you wish for is they come to an end quickly; when you feel out of place and you’d rather run somewhere else – but you have nowhere to go and feel stuck. It’s funny how slowly your life seems to be moving when everyone else’s is speeding on. And you feel left behind. But what’s more funny, is how a simple flap of a butterfly's wings can later on be the cause of a whirling tornado.
It’s a windy spring night, halfway through May. Outside is unusually cold, but inside of Kurt it feels as cold as usual. As usual since He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named cheated on him. It’s been months but he simply cannot get over their break-up. He knew he has some blame, that he’d been selfish and self absorbed but- Kurt shakes his head. He should stop thinking about it, he really should. But it’s easier said than done. How is he supposed to erase him, them from memory and move on?
He can’t help but feel lost and cold, as if the best and warmest part of him had been abruptly taken away. Will things ever go back to normal? Will he ever trust someone? Will someone ever love him again? Will he and- Enough said – he scolds. Every day he wakes up asking himself if the next day he’ll feel better. He spends the day hoping tomorrow will be the day, the day he’ll finally have his life back. And every night he falls asleep knowing that the next day will be exactly like the previous one, but that doesn’t stop him from hoping. “After all... tomorrow is another day”, Rossella O’hara used to say. But he keeps wondering why tomorrow can’t be an other day. Since the spring semester ended and he came back home from NYADA, all of the things he pushed away, all of the thoughts he refused to think just came up all together, overwhelming him. Moreover, having to spend a lot of time alone wasn’t helpful at all. His dad and Carole were often to DC, due to his father’s duties as congressman; Finn had flown to NY to spend the summer break with Rachel, since she got a part into a broadway show and couldn’t afford to leave even just for a day to come home. Santana was away with Brittany, cut out from the entire world (how romantic of them, how he envied them). Sam was working at GAP to save some money for college (in the end he got accepted to Ohio State University). Mercedes was in LA, busy with her record label, Quinn was at Yale and Tina at Brown (and there they’ll remain for summer courses) and Artie was still in NY, doing an internship in a video games developing firm. And Kurt? Kurt was stuck, going nowhere, having nowhere to go. Everyone was moving on with their lives, everyone seemed to have a purpose, a direction where to go. Whereas he… he was standing still. Hopelessly stuck, feeling miserable since his life and career seemed to have bumped into a dead end street, and he had no fuel left to put into reverse and go back on track.
His train of thoughts is interrupted by the sound of his dad’s car parking in the driveway. Finally, they were home. He precipitates towards the entry, wanting to receive some warm hugs before finally going to bed. He felt tired, not that he had nothing much to do during the day besides thinking, but apparently that was wiring him out. He would have gone to bed earlier, but couldn’t fall asleep with the thought of the two of them on their way home; mostly because his father’s phone was dead, as usual (too many phone calls for a single man) and Carole had forgotten hers at home. Kurt wears his best smile, hoping that would hide all his worries from his father, and impatiently waits for them to open the door.
The door does open, but the smile on Kurt’s face drops almost instantly, substituted to a puzzled expression. And everything that had happened after, Kurt would later on swear he dreamt it. It couldn’t have been true. It was everything too surreal to be true. But that’s how life is. Surprisingly unexpected.
Carole and Burt did enter, but they were not alone. A boy whose face he could never erase from his mind approached behind them. As they came closer his confusion grew stronger. A clearly shaken Sebastian Smythe had just entered his home, at 11 p.m., with his parents. Carole had an arm around his back, and on his shoulder lay what he instantly recognizes as a woolen ysl scarf, 2002 winter collection. Kurt himself had chosen that scarf as gift for Carole’s 50’s birthday. It had took him 2 weeks to chose the appropriate brand, pattern and texture (but in the end he partaged the idea with Burt and Finn, who were lacking of ideas, and it became their gift).
Before he could open his mouth to speak, Burt said:
“Kurt, this is Sebastian. Long story short, in the middle of nowhere, somewhere near Wheeling he lost control of his car and hit a tree, nothing too bad”, he added as he saw Kurt expression “But the car won’t start and his mobile broke. Luckily for him we were passing by that very street and helped him out. We dragged his car behind and tomorrow I’ll have a look at it. In the meanwhile could you give him a phone to call someone to pick him up? Mine had died and Carole’s”
“Is at home”, Kurt cut him. “Here, you can use mine”, Kurt said, handing him his mobile. Sebastian took a step forward and grabbed his phone, smiling feebly.
As he moved towards the living room to make a call, Carole approached Kurt and muttered:
“I don’t know what was wrong with him, he was standing still in the cold air. You should have seen him, his gaze was icy and empty and his skin so cold. Who knows what had happened. He barely talked to us”, Kurt could feel the worry in her tone, as she talked: “We are very tired and should go to bed if we want to wake up tomorrow for work, but would you keep an eye on him? Making him a cup of coffee perhaps? I don’t know, just…don’t leave him alone”, she went on with a stern look on her face. Before Kurt could say anything, Sebastian came back.
“My sister is picking me up, it’ll take her some time, though”, he announced.
“Stay here as long as you need to, dear. I told you we could have driven you home”, Carole commented.
“it’s too far away, you’ve already done enough for me, believe me. Just, my sister will be here in a hour or so”
“That’s okay, make yourself at home. Just we’re going to get some sleep now…but Kurt here will keep you company”, Burt tells him
“Thanks, there was no need to, really”
“Enough said. Goodnight kiddo!”, Burt replied.
“Oh and, we’ll let you know about the car. Goodnight honeys”, Carole intervened. Sebastian smiled and waved them goodnight. Carole kissed goodnight to Kurt, and Burt gave him a quick hug, before heading off to their bedroom. And now he and Sebastian were alone.
From the moment that door opened, till the last remark made by Carole, he had felt… lost. And out of place, like all of a sudden he wasn’t in his own home, what he was seeing wasn’t really happening and Sebastian Smythe, Sebastian Smythe, wasn’t really standing there, wrapped in Carole’s scarf, conversing with them. The whole situation was surreal, the whole conversation had been surreal. And now he was alone with the Spawn of Satan. In a different context he would have feared for his life, or his clothes at least, but right then he just felt disoriented. And rather uncomfortable.
“Hmm do you want to sit? The sofa is over there”, Kurt asked him. Sebastian rose his head and looked him into the eyes. His gaze on him felt like a stab to Kurt. He hadn’t truly understood what Carole meant about him earlier, till he saw with his own eyes. Sebastian was looking at Kurt, but he wasn’t. His eyes were frozen, emotionless, empty. He was in front of him, but he wasn’t really there.
In the end, Sebastian looked away and shrugged, following Kurt as he sighed and hesitantly lead him towards the living room.
They sat in silence, as the awkwardness of the whole situation seemed to grow bigger with every minute passed. In the end, Kurt turned on the TV to find Timm Gunn from Project Runway explaining the challenge of the day to the wanna-be stylists.
Kurt saw Sebastian roll his eyes, but he didn’t say a word. Something was definitely wrong. As they sat on the sofa, one on each side (as far away from each other as they could), Kurt took some time to study his figure, slightly lighted by a small lamp. He was wearing a pair of sandy trousers and a short-sleeved light blue shirt. He looked tired and… sad. That simple acknowledgment struck Kurt, and made him realize Sebastian may be more human than he could think. Or at least he could look more human.
“Are you okay?”, Kurt asked in the end, but Sebastian didn’t answer him.
“Do you want to talk about it?”, Kurt kept looking at him expectantly, but Sebastian was ignoring him. “Well, if you wanted to-”
“I wouldn't come to you.” Sebastian cut him, sighing angrily and slowly turning his face towards Kurt. “So stop bothering me. Your high pitched voice gives me headache”, he added. Kurt snapped his tongue and stood up saying:
“You really are an ass, you know?”
“And you really are an annoying little pageant, you know?” Sebastian replied. Kurt stormed off to the kitchen and pressed his front against a cupboard. -Stupid conceited brat, he kept on thinking. He had left the room because he couldn’t fight a second more the urge to punch him in the face. And that was not the greatest way to deal with him, with the absurdity of the whole situation. He had to keep calm. Since his new philosophy of life was: “indifference is one’s best weapon”, he decided the best way to handle Sebastian was to ignore him and his nastiness. So, he made coffee and returned with a steaming cup for Sebastian too.
“Here’s yours. You’re welcome” he said to a bewildered Sebastian. At least -Kurt thought- he had managed to confuse him enough to shut him up. Sebastian rose his eyebrows and took the coffee without saying a word. After a while, he spoke:
“You are so cliché. Project Runway? I mean, come on!”. Kurt shook his head:
“We are not watching porn, if that’s what you are suggesting”
“Oh, I wouldn’t dare miss the fun, princess” - At least something was normal -Kurt thought- the beaten up version of Sebastian gave him the creeps; at least he could be like his old self if he wanted to. Or act like his old self, he found himself observing.
“Oh, stop it!” Kurt replied throwing a pillow to Sebastian, who caught it with a chuckle.
“I apologize for upsetting you, your highness!”, Sebastian retorted miming a bow and smirking at Kurt. . Even if his mouth was half smiling – or rather smirking – his eyes were not participating, Kurt noted. As if his brain noted the dissonance too, his smirk slowly became sadder and faded away. Sebastian turned his head away from Kurt, staring intently at the mug in his hands and, all of a sudden, a heavy silence fell on them. Kurt kept staring at Sebastian, while Sebastian kept his gaze on the mug. After a while, Sebastian spoke:
“I’ll be fine”, and threw his head back against the sofa, closing his eyes.
At that point, Kurt really didn’t know what to do. In the time he had spent with Sebastian he had seen at least a dozen shades of his personality, and couldn’t help but ask himself what more there was behind him. His nastiness repulsed him, but his personality was after all interesting. -He should have been really tired for letting a thought like that cross his mind. He shook his head, trying to shook his thoughts away too, and imitated Sebastian resting his head on back on the sofa, occasionally sipping from the mug in his hands. They sat like that for a while, in total silence, with the noise of the television in the background. Their vigilance slowly faded, leaving place for tiredness to grow, which slowly lead them in a comfy drowsiness.
Kurt was abruptly awoken by some decise but hushed knocks coming from the front door. He turned towards Sebastian, who wore a look which wasn’t unfamiliar to Kurt: he looked as if he had been abruptly thrown into a reality he wanted to escape from. And Kurt knew something about it. Hell if he knew.
Kurt stood up and went to open the front door. A pair of piercing green eyes met him. They belonged to a beautiful young lady, in her early twenties, stunning in a navy blue gown
“I’m Willa, Seb’s sister. Thank you very much for helping us, I came asap! Where is he?”, she asked with a worried face.
“He’s in the living-room, I’ll show you, come on in”, Kurt told her “I’m Kurt, by the way”. She smiled back to him. As they reached the living-room he pointed at Sebastian, sat still on the sofa. The expression on Willa’s face was a mixture between fondness and worry. She approached the sofa, then bent in front of him and took his hands. They looked at each other and kurt would have paid millions to know what they were saying to each other. He couldn’t see Sebastian from where he was standing, but her expression was unreadable. It seemed as if she was looking at something that had been broken, wishing it could be fixed but knowing the chances were thin.
“Let’s go”, she told him tenderly and helped him get up, putting her arm around his shoulders -as if she could protect him from Kurt-knows-what. It was a very fond scene which warmed Kurt’s heart. As they were leaving, Willa thanked Kurt again and then stopped as if she remembered something important.
“May I use them?”, she asked pointing at the block of post-its and the pens scattered on the telephone desk.
“Hum sure”, replied Kurt -but not that much sure of her intentions. She quickly grabbed a pen and a piece of paper and wrote a telephone number on it.
“Here’s, call me when it’s ready”, she exclaimed. Kurt kept looking at her puzzled. “The car?”, she suggested.
“Oh! Yes! Sure! Sorry I… It’s late and I”, he started apologizing. In the confusion of the whole night he had forgotten the very reason because Sebastian landed in his living-room in the first place.
“It’s okay. Goodnight and… thanks, again”, Willa cut him.
“My pleasure” he responded politely -actually it hadn’t been his pleasure at all.
He waited for them to get into the car and leave before closing the door and leaning against it. -What had just happened?.
His tiredness was wearing him, thus with the few energies left he walked upstairs towards his room.
As he later lay in bed, he would have replayed the events of the night over and over again before finally giving in to sleep. It had felt like he was suddenly part of something bigger, an actor thrown in the middle of a show without knowing the script.
Again, that’s exactly how life is: a movie without a script. But maybe that’s for the best; have you ever wondered what could have happened if you had know what was coming next in your life, if you already knew the direction where to go before even finding yourself at a crossroad?
How many things would have been different if you knew their consequences? But, at the same time, how many unexpected beautiful things you would have missed, how many places you wouldn’t have discovered, how many friendships you wouldn’t have bumped into, if you hadn’t stumbled into the unknown?
Kurt that night did wonder all those things, but found himself to tired to give himself an answer.
Later in time, he would have admitted to himself that the best things in his life came from what at one time seemed to be the worst decisions he could have ever made. After all, “You never know where the next miracle is gonna come from, the next smile, the next wish come true”. (oth)
The title, Into the Night, is inspired by the song "All of our stars" (Ed sheer an)
The whole fic was inspired by this song: "Close your eyes" (Michael Bublé)
Willa is played by Willa Holland
So, what did you think? Should I continue? Should I find a beta? Should I give up? I have a lot on my mind, but I want to hear your opinions first!